Something On My Heart…

What are you afraid of?

 – Spiders

– Heights

-Being too close to someone

– Being alone

– Clowns

– Tight places

The list could go on and on… I am afraid of a lot of things. Seriously, it’s pretty crazy. Sometimes it’s legit things, most of the time just ideas in my head that more than likely will never happen. The thoughts come and flood over me and before I know it fear has consumed me.

I have been thinking a lot about fear lately…

Before I go further, let’s define the word fear:



a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Antonyms: courage, security, calm, intrepidity. (via)
At the church I teach at, we have been studying boldness. Right now, we are talking about Ester. If you are not familar with the story I will recap real quick:
Basically, Ester is favored by the King who makes her Queen. She is a Jew and a guy named Haman comes along and decides he doesn’t like the Jews, because they are different… anyways…the point is that Ester has to be the one to save them because she can talk to the King on thier behalf. She knows she has to do it – but she is afraid: you can read the story of Ester here.

Yesterday this quote from the bible when I was reading about Ester, really stuck out to me…..

Mordecai sent her this message: “Don’t think that just because you live in the king’s house you’re the one Jew who will get out of this alive.14 If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance will arrive for the Jews from someplace else; but you and your family will be wiped out. Who knows? Maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this.”

Wow. All I could think about was —  ‘She was made to fight, and be brave… She was made to be Queen to save the people…  what if she didn’t go talk to him? What if she got so scared she did nothing? Her and her  people would have been killed. The part  where he tells her the deliverance will arrive somewhere else to me means – God will chose someone else to help and she would have missed out on a huge God blessing.’

Eventually, she goes, and she talks to him, you can read it — it’s in the Bible. (It’s one of my favorite stories — with a really cool twist to it.)

My question is – what do we miss out on when we live in fear?

What blessings have been put before me (and for others as well.) – but because of my fear, I do nothing and hide – and then someone else comes and fights the fight I was meant to  but didn’t?

What did God want to do with me  and the homeless man that needed money that I was afraid to talk to- The friend who was crying out for help, that I was too afraid to comfort (because it was scary.) . -The really great guy that I was too afraid to get to know beacuse I was afraid of rejection??

I don’t want to live like this anymore… I want to be bold like Ester. Why would I teach my 4 year olds this lesson and not even look at myself?

So, I am going to go out of my comfort zone and when this feeling comes over me to do something – but fear gets in the way.

 It’s going to be hard and it’s going to be scary but I am going to do it because I have this truth:

“For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” – 2 Timothy 1:7

.King James 2000 Bible (©2003)

I think this last quote/picture, pretty much sums it up… If you can face your fear head on – knowing that God has your back – you will grow and it will be good. : ]

z154302498-1.jpg image by Miss_Mandy04

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