Well… it’s been awhile since I have done a post on this topic. Warning this post could get quite wordy. I am just telling you up front…
As I said in this post here, I am dating someone exclusively.
So, I started this experience back in February/March… it was a crazy, new, different, fun experience.
I met guys on Match and other random places and I would date them. They all knew about each other for the most part, or at least knew I was dating others.
There were times when I got confused or drained or tired. Some weeks I was going out almost every night plus working at my church child care center a couple of nights a week.
One time, this is embarrassing to admit, but I had a dream that I had all of them there on one date (except in the dream it wasn’t really any of them.) and I couldn’t remember any of their names and was getting them all confused! That’s when I decided to narrow things down and quit adding more. It just was becoming overwhelming.
So, I backed off Match – and after talking to a couple of them and my counselor (yes, I go to counselor – just to talk to someone about things.) I decided that I wasn’t really going to go anywhere with any of them if I didn’t put in a little more effort with any of them, and really try so I kept the ones that I was still interested in, who were also still interested in me. (Keep in mind I talked about 3 of these guys into doing the same thing – So I knew they were also dating other girls.) I don’t know how to explain this except for there was no pressure from anyone…it was the first time I was communicating up front and they were too and I was building up friendships. Yeah, some of them backed out and I obviously backed out on them too but it was respectful and it was honest. I am still friends with some of them, and really respect and admire them and truly wish them the best!
Now… let’s talk about how this exclusive thing happened:
He was one of my first guys to date, way back in March or April, but I didn’t meet him on Match. (I was introduced to him by a mutual friend, but that’s a different story I will share in more details later.)
We went on a couple of dates between then and July. He was one of the ones that I talked into dating other girls.
There was maybe a month where he disappeared because he was busy and I was busy… then on the fourth of July my car broke down…not once but twice. Haha…So, I was without a car and stressed and trying to find a new one, I just decided it was time. In the middle of the my stress one night, he texted me to see what was up.. and we talked and I was needing a break so I asked him if he wanted to go do something and he came and got me and we went and ate… surprising, my car breaking down was good thing because, I got a newer car out of it and our friendship started to blossom. He was so helpful (and he didn’t have to be.) he would help me research cars, go with me to look at them, help me bargain with the guys so I wouldn’t get screwed over, even gave me rides to work. The more that I saw this side of him the more I liked..and we started hanging out and doing more coupley things everyday, and he STILL knew I was seeing the others, but was so patient and not pushy about. I started feeling guilty about seeing the others… to the point of where I told them about it before we were really official. It just kind of happened. Which I guess is the way it was supposed to right?? The whole point of my whole dating thing was to meet people, have fun, watch and learn their character, but at the same time – just let things naturally happen.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, if I ever end up single again, I am pretty sure I will do the same thing. I still highly recommend it! It defiantly helped me. I like where I am at right now, and I like that we have this pretty solid friendship base. : ] So, if you here about Richard on my little blog that’s who that is… my boyfriend. (haha… I feel so weird even saying “boyfriend” I haven’t had one those in a long time!)