What’s Been Going On.


So sorry.

The other day in the car Richard asked me – “Why don’t you ever write on your blog anymore?”

I couldn’t give a very good, straight answer. I don’t really know. Boredom maybe. laziness? Maybe even it started feeling intimidating when I would read other girl’s blogs and see how cool they are and I feel like mine lacks in comparison.

I started thinking though – does it matter if anyone really reads this? No.
Do I genuinely like to blog. Yes.

So… I am back!

Here are some things to catch you up on what’s been going on in my little life.

  • Still with Richard. Going on 6 months now! Wow!! Where does the time go?!

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Remember my dating plan? I would say it went very well.

  • I still love all my original TV shows but have added a new one. Walking Dead. I am pretty much obsessed. It’s so good… I have caught myself up to the end now and I may have withdraw symptoms until the next season starts in February.  Warning: It is really gory, what do you expect though from a tv show about zombies…but still so good! Does anyone else love this show?

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  • December is going to be a busy month with the holidays, the Christmas parties, college graduations (Yah!! Congrats Sarah, my roomie!) and spending time with family. I will try to update more often like I used to until then here are some of Instagram pictures. I have been slacking there as well.. oops! 

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As always you can follow me in real-time on Instagram @amandawatkins2

Until later,
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Update on Dating Part 4


Well… it’s been awhile since I have done a post on this topic. Warning this post could get quite wordy. I am just telling you up front…

As I said in this post here, I am dating someone exclusively.

Remember these post: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3?

So, I started this experience back in February/March… it was a crazy, new, different, fun experience.
I met guys on Match and other random places and I would date them. They all knew about each other for the most part, or at least knew I was dating others.

 There were times when I got confused or drained or tired. Some weeks I was going out almost every night plus working at my church child care center a couple of nights a week.

One time, this is embarrassing to admit, but I had a dream that I had all of them there on one date (except in the dream it wasn’t really any of them.) and I couldn’t remember any of their names and was getting them all confused! That’s when I decided to narrow things down and quit adding more. It just was becoming overwhelming.

So, I backed off  Match – and after talking to a couple of them and my counselor (yes, I go to counselor – just to talk to someone about things.) I decided that I wasn’t really going to go anywhere with any of them if I didn’t put in a little more effort with any of them, and really try so I kept the ones that I was still interested in, who were also still interested in me. (Keep in mind I talked about 3 of these guys into doing the same thing – So I knew they were also dating other girls.) I don’t know how to explain this except for there was no pressure from anyone…it was the first time I was communicating up front and they were too and I was building up friendships. Yeah, some of them backed out and I obviously backed out on them too but it was respectful and it was honest. I am still friends with some of them, and really respect and admire them and truly wish them the best!

Now… let’s talk about how this exclusive thing happened:

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Dallas!


I am going to overload you for a minute with pictures from my Dallas trip:

Seahorse! 🙂

Flamingos…so pretty!

Me and one of my best friends Cristi.

(haha.. My eyes are closed!)

Creepy frogs.

View from our hotel room… supposedly JLo and Enrique Iglesias were at our hotel… I didn’t see them though. 😦

Ava and Momma.

Pretty fish from New Guinea.

Miss Ava.

Mr. Devil Owl.

Me and Ava saddled up.

Yes, this picture is much better…and oh yeah… I am dating someone exclusively now (and have been for a while – just didn’t want to talk about it yet.) More on that later.

Man, I really love Dallas and I didn’t want to come home. Maybe I just move there! I think Cristi would like that!

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Update on Dating: Part III


Do you remember this post or this one??

Well…these seem to be my most popular post. Why? Beats me… maybe people find humor in my sad life. Haha… kidding! I have a great life actually. I just kind of suck at dating.

I still believe in what I said in my first post and still believe that this is the way to do it, it’s just a lot harder than it seemed to be.  It somewhat overwhelmed me and I felt like I wasn’t really getting to know anyone. So, I narrowed it down and decided to NOT add anymore… well then now, I am kind of at a standstill.

I think now at this moment, I am going to take a small break, just for a while and then maybe I will try again soon.

I will promise you this though, if I ever do get married and something were to happen where I have to date again, I will not do. I actually loathe it…. Not tying to be negative, but it’s.just.so.hard. Maybe I am making it harder than it needs to be I don’t know.

Who knows… we will just see what happens!

 
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Oh…Man! If Only I lived in So Flo…


Haha… Can’t decide if I am impressed by this guy for trying to be different and stand out or if I am embarrassed for him.

Don’t get me wrong… you got do what you gotta do, but hmmm…not sure about this?

I give him props for trying and I hope he gets what he is looking for!

My Last Five Girlfriends:


I need to clarify – just in case any of you were misled by the title… NOT my last five girlfriends but Duncan’s.  🙂

I watched this super cute, very artful, movie on Netflix this weekend.

I really love movies like this! If you like British, rom-com indie movies this is for you!!

The movie follows Duncan through his last five girlfriends… He is trying to figure out where they each went wrong and how he can do better with the next one.  I thought it was very different/artsy not story-wise… I mean been there done that with other movies, for example: this one (not good)   but it held my attention with the way it was put together and I really wanted to know how it would turn out for him. I thought he was a cute/funny character and I was really rooting for him. Sometimes the acting can be a little cheesy… not that bad in my opinion for this movie!

Only one small complaint: They defiantly could have picked a better looking friend for Duncan. I mean especially for the role they wanted this guy to play.

 If you like these kinds of movies you should go check it out…

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The Elusive One


Last night my friend Sarah and I were talking at Lifegroup about why life isn’t always fair and what God might want to do through you in difficult situations. Since we are both single the topic of dating came up, naturally.

These kinds of thoughts were ping-ponged back and forth between us:

“Maybe God gave us those bad relationships to prepare us for what he really wants.” / “That guy just wasn’t the one.” /” I look for someone all the time at the grocery store and everywhere I go.” /”It would just be better if I knew.”/ “What if it was like that movie about the timer?”

What?! What movie? My friend caught me off guard…

She explained it to me and I was interested…

Finding true love is easier than ever thanks to a bio-technological implant called the TiMER, which counts down to the exact time people meet their soul mates. Love-starved Oona (Emma Caulfield, TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is pushing 30, but her TiMER hasn’t even started counting down yet. What’s worse, she’s falling for a guy (John Patrick Amedori, Gossip Girl) who is set to meet his true love in four months. Newcomer Jac Schaeffer crafts a smart romantic comedy that leaves behind the burning question… would you want to know? Screening at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival. For more information and tickets, visit www.tribecafilm.com/festival.

So naturally, when I got home I got on Netflix and watched it.

It wasn’t bad. I love indie films anyways, but what I loved most about it was that it made me think and I could relate.

This is how the TiMER works:

  • Somehow, scientifically they figured it out and you can have a countdown until the day you meet the one.
  • The TiMER is placed on your wrist.
  • It is 100% accurate.
  • When you “zero out”  sometime within the next 24 hours when you make eye contact with the person you both beep.
  • Yours is blank? – That means your one doesn’t have a TiMER or you won’t ever have anyone. Sucks to be you.
  • You have to be at least 14 for it to work.
  • Once it beeps – you know who it is, but it doesn’t mean it will be instant attraction or anything. There are different kinds of the one. You might hate each other – or be friends first or not be that attracted to them yet or  it could be instant but the TiMER only tells you when you will meet them.

Now, before I go any further – for the record I KNOW this made-up stuff but none-the-less it made me think about things??
What if your TiMER says you won’t meet the one until you are in your 40’s or 50’s? So what do you with so many in between years while you wait?  Would you really want to know that you will be that old and KNOW that you have to watch pretty much everyone else around be in love? Do you still even date others? This was something one of the characters faced. I mean – if you knew 100% it will happen just not for a long time would you be relieved or frustrated or both?

What if you got a blank one?? Another character in the movie gets a blank one and so even though she has the TiMER she still doesn’t know because her one doesn’t have a TiMER. So, in that situation is it better or worse? Then  do you ONLY date guys who don’t have TiMERS and try to convince them they need one so you know? You already know that anybody you meet with a timer isn’t the one. What if yours never came on?

What if in either of those situations, (a blank one or one that won’t happen for years) you fell in love with someone who isn’t your one? Do you stay with who you love knowing they could leave you for their one later, or they refuse to get a TiMER and yours is blank do you just go with it and “hope” they are the one?

What if you are already married and you or your spouse decides to get a TiMER and you realize they are NOT the one?  Whether you were happy or not, do you stay married or leave?

In the movie anytime two people’s TiMER’s went off it was kind of awkward. Because, then they would just stand there and be like. “Okay, now what?”  When their TIMER would stop at the 24 hour mark the next day was very tense. (Even I could feel it watching the movie.) Who would it be?… and they would spend the day looking or wondering. What would it feel like to know that in the next 24 hours I am going to meet my soul mate?

What if you seriously thought you knew and you were wrong? What if you can and do have more than just one soul mate??

Oh.. this movie brought up sooo many questions and like I said, even though it was make-believe it’s NOT that far off from real life. Every day, people are looking of the one. Some will wait years before they decide that this person they met was the one, some people refuse to make a commitment without a guarantee (in real life – I guess a feeling. Still not sure what this means?) Some people think whatever – I don’t want to wait so they just risk loving and losing.

So the real questions are  fate or love and would you really want to know?

 
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Update on Dating


Remember this post?

It’s been a few weeks since I wrote about how that is actually going.

It’s going…

The whole point of the book is to keep your numbers up for a while.

I was doing good. I had about 3-4 dates a week for a couple  of weeks…but as people phased out, which is natural, instead of replacing them (that sounds bad – What I mean is keeping a steady  number of dates.)  I started focusing my attention on one.

Which, wouldn’t be bad if it was mutual. It turns out, I believe,  that he was really into the game. He thought it since I was dating others I was more challenging. Which is good if I would have played it right. He tried and wooed me and it was good. I gave in too soon though. (Not like that.) I just quit trying to be a chase and started hanging out with only him. I didn’t do anything I can think of that would automatically make him like me any less.

 I am sure you can guess what happened next: We went from talking everyday and hanging all the time to nothing. Nada. Zilch. He won’t respond to my text anymore nor does he text me anymore.

Oooooohhh…yeah… that sucks.

I should have done what I said I would do and still saw other guys.  I should have made him work a little a harder a little longer. Until Maybe? I don’t know. This is where I always suck in the dating world. I can get them but I can’t keep them.

Anyways, so now I am starting over. Back to the drawing board. Getting my numbers back up. I am not going to dwell on any of this and besides it hasn’t been that long anyways… he could come back around. If he does – that’s fine. He will just have to woo me again is all.

Anybody else out there ever been in a similar situation?  How do you deal with guys disappearing? Or maybe any guys out there can explain to me why you do this and give me some advice!

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Love is Waiting…


Aww..such a cute song.

This is what I want.. nice and slow… friends first.

Dating for the Modern Girl


So, for those who know me and those that don’t you probably have already guessed I am single, shocker, Right?! Actually, I am glad that I am still single. For one, I look by at my 19 to about 23ish year old self and I think “Whoa! I wouldn’t have been ready at all for anything like that.”

This is a different dating world these days…

The Home Ec major in me would tell you that the divorce rate is 50% – which you don’t need me to tell you that, just look around.  I would like to fall into that other side of the 50%, you know the side that actually makes it.

I stumbled across this book* and it has the best dating advice I think I have ever read. Henry Cloud is one of my favorite non-fiction writers. He is amazing.

The gist of it is quite opposite as to what society – especially girls do. Date lots of people at once and NOT for marriage. Sounds crazy but think about it….

Have you thought about it yet? Does it make sense to you?

Here’s why it does to me:

  • You don’t get too attached too fast and put all energy into something when it’s not going to go anywhere.
  • You seem more interesting and harder to get. Girls – Let’s make the guys pursue us a little…
  • You naturally will weed out the bad from the good. (Or at least that’s how I think it will work. Haven’t quite got that far yet.)
  • You will have people to compare to. You will KNOW what you want and what you don’t.
  • If someone turns out to be mean or not nice – it’s not a devastating loss, you move on a lot quicker.
  • If you date to get to know people and you are building friendships first then you will have a solid foundation. (Which are what the BEST relationships are built on.)
  • It takes SO much pressure off dating.
  • It opens you up to a lot of others who might not have been your “type.”

Here’s where it gets tricky and most of my friends and family who I have talked to about doing this support me 100% but some issues have come up like:

  • It feels weird to date more than one at a time.
  • What if you hurt someone feelings because they get too attached?
  • Isn’t that kind of like being a player?
  • How long to do you keep doing this?

My opinion on this, and Dr. Cloud also backs this up, is as long as you are HONEST with everyone you go out with and you tell them – “This is what I am doing. This is where I am at.” Then you are NOT responsible for their feelings or actions.  If they date only you or others also that’s on them.  If they don’t want to date you, that’s ok too.

I have been doing this for a couple of weeks and its different and it takes some time to get used to changing your mindset.  Being this honest, so far has changed things, and I have already met some really great guys! I don’t really know how this will end up but I hope (and I have a feeling) that will turn out pretty good.

I would like to add-on that I am NOT promoting USING people. There is difference on leading someone on and being honest.

I won’t lie – it’s super hard. It requires brutal honesty, (which I am finding that I thought I was a direct honest person, but I am more vague than I would like to be. – I am working on this!)

What are your thoughts on this?

*Be sure to read the reviews – these are people who also have put this into practice and it gives the negative and positive sides.