You Are For Me

I know I just shared a Kari Jobe video a few post down, but here is another one! I can’t get enough of her right now!

I love this song, because it’s so true!

Hope everyone has a great day!


Light in the Darkness

I haven’t said anything yet on what happened last week on Facebook or on here. I have seen a lot of other people talk about it but the thing is that it bothers me. It does, all the way to my core, but I never know what to say…. my words and thoughts just don’t seem to be good enough or significant enough to really cover the pain and heartache that these poor families are facing.

The last week  made me think about a lot of things…  

I do believe that people who want guns for self-protection should be able to have them and people who like to hunt for the sport of it should be able to, BUT I do not believe that anyone who is not actively serving in a war should have any kind of assault rifle. I just don’t see the point, even if that person is responsible who is to say that person won’t one day snap, or that someone else unstable could get a hold of it? These types of guns should be put away. Also, I believe that it should be a little harder to obtain a gun. Make sure that every single person who has one gets a background check, and passes a gun safety course. Also, hold them accountable if anything ever happens with their gun, if someone takes and commits a crime, the gun owner is responsible too. I grew up around guns, I have shot guns and have  been hunting. Guns do not scare me, it’s the people who have the guns in thier hands.

Also, there have been times when having a gun around would make me feel safer. Hypothetically, if someone broke in my house and I were to hold a gun up and tell them I had a gun, more than likely they would back off, or at least I would have  a fighting chance. I don’t believe in taking all guns away at all… but I think the good people who want guns will be ok with a little bit of stricter laws. We can’t ignore this and something has to be done!

Also,  I feel ashamed of the media…. I know it’s their job and some of the reporters are pressured by their bosses to get the juiciest story,  but I feel it SO disrespectful of the families going through this though. Imagine if this were your family or close friend going through this and everywhere you turn there is the horrific picture of your grieving family member… or there is the story reminding you exactly what happened and the things these poor babies experienced. Leave these people alone and let them start the to heal.

Last but not least, I thought a lot about God during this last week. I have what I would call a pretty strong faith, but I saw where people would question where  God was during this and I have seen faith-based leaders argue over whether God was punishing us as nation for the things we have been doing… my opinion, is that I don’t know any of  the answers to this, I don’t know if this was a wake up call or what. I heard on the Christian radio the other day, a talk on this and this seemed to make the most sense to me, they said that obviously this is a fallen world and we as individuals also have free will. It is God and he can do what he wants, so he could have stopped it but for some reason didn’t, but God didn’t MAKE this happen, and that he is grieving along with us. I love that thought. That the God of the universe feels the same grief we do over this. It sounds cliché and I hate saying it, but he has plan we just don’t know the extent of it.  I can already see some of God’s goodness come out of this. I think that as a nation we have all became closer. People have been more compassionate (mostly). I saw this on the news yesterday and made me so happy to see. Ann Curry tweeted about the shooting and decided to honor the 20 children and do #20acts of kindness (eventually it turned into #26acts) and people all over the world tweeted in their random acts of kindness. Imagine if this was an everyday thing!!

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All of this to say, God is in this… he was with the students and teachers in the school that day, he was with the teachers who sacrificed  their own lives to save their students  and he is with all of us now. It’s not going to be an easy recovery and we will never fully be the same again, but there is still hope.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16: 33

On Overcoming…

“When we fear failure more than we love life, when we are dominated by thoughts of what we might have been rather than by thoughts of what we might become, when we are haunted by the disparity between our ideal self and our real self, when we are tormented by guilt, shame, remorse, and self-condemnation, we deny our faith in the God of love.”

Brennan Manning
The Signature of Jesus


I am so guilty of this. Aren’t we all at one time or another? I need to remember this, God does not give us a spirit of fear but of power and love  and a sound mind.

How do you overcome those feelings of inadequacy or fear/guilt?



You’re Invited:

All my friends in the OKC area, come check out At the Movies this month at Lifechurch OKC: (Some friends I put in a lot of work on this, for the props.)



It’s Worth It

I was reading Casey’s blog, and I came across this article

Reasons why I loved this story:

  • It reminded me of what I want.
  • It showed me that there are people out there who are capable of being good.
  • It was one of the saddest/sweetest stories I have read.
  • I love the way that in probably the MOST difficult situation this guy used it for the better… became a better husband/father.
  • It’s so cute the way he talks about his children
  • The way he talks about his wife is super sweet.
  • It also reminded me that what I want is not bad or weird.
  • The way he talked about relationships as not emotions and that there is NO perfect person.
  • He takes his children on dates.
  • He talks about his wife and him depending on each other but also having independence.
  • He puts people above things.

Everybody could learn how a thing or two from this guy…

z154302498-1.jpg image by Miss_Mandy04

Things I Used to Tell Myself…

I used to tell my self lies..

{Lie} I will never like coffee. 
[Truth] I actually love it now!

{Lie} I hate running and working out and I will never like it.              
[Truth] Working out feels great!

{Lie} I will never be kissed by a  boy.(This seriously plagued me all of my teenage years.)
[Truth] That didn’t happen.

{Lie} I will never be able to drive in the city.                                       
[Truth] I have lived in the city a long time now.

{Lie} Skinny jeans are so unflattering on me.
[Truth] My skinny jeans are now my favorite jeans.

{Lie} Chinsese food is yuck!
[Truth] I really love it…

Lie} If I do this or that… (or don’t do this or that) then no will like me.
[Truth] I have plenty of people who love me no matter what I do or don’t do.        

{Lie} When I have felt stuck in the past, I thought things would never change. 
[Truth] Things always change.

Here is another truth… I still tell my self lies. I won’t share those now…. but the point is the lies I tell myself now are different then the lies I used to tell myself. I am more aware of them now and I can catch them and rebuke them, which has stopped a lot of worry/anxiety in my life over really dumb things. 

Rethinking the thought and asking my self if it’s true? Is it really true?? Are you 100% sure that’s the truth? Will usually snap me back to reality in no time. It’s amazing what happens when you just pay attention to your thoughts.

 I watched this last night…and it couldn’t have been more fitting.  Even, with knowing how to stop worrying and negative thoughts it’s hard – but then I read this.  Anyways… I just wanted to share this it was on my heart lately. (Maybe it can be of use to someone else.)


Ecclesiastes 3: 1-12

1 For everything there is a season,a time for every activity under heaven.

2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7 A time to tear and a time to mend.A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8 A time to love and a time to hate.A time for war and a time for peace.

9 What do people really get for all their hard work?

10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all.

11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.

12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.

Via: The Bible

z154302498-1.jpg image by Miss_Mandy04

The Elusive One

Last night my friend Sarah and I were talking at Lifegroup about why life isn’t always fair and what God might want to do through you in difficult situations. Since we are both single the topic of dating came up, naturally.

These kinds of thoughts were ping-ponged back and forth between us:

“Maybe God gave us those bad relationships to prepare us for what he really wants.” / “That guy just wasn’t the one.” /” I look for someone all the time at the grocery store and everywhere I go.” /”It would just be better if I knew.”/ “What if it was like that movie about the timer?”

What?! What movie? My friend caught me off guard…

She explained it to me and I was interested…

Finding true love is easier than ever thanks to a bio-technological implant called the TiMER, which counts down to the exact time people meet their soul mates. Love-starved Oona (Emma Caulfield, TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is pushing 30, but her TiMER hasn’t even started counting down yet. What’s worse, she’s falling for a guy (John Patrick Amedori, Gossip Girl) who is set to meet his true love in four months. Newcomer Jac Schaeffer crafts a smart romantic comedy that leaves behind the burning question… would you want to know? Screening at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival. For more information and tickets, visit

So naturally, when I got home I got on Netflix and watched it.

It wasn’t bad. I love indie films anyways, but what I loved most about it was that it made me think and I could relate.

This is how the TiMER works:

  • Somehow, scientifically they figured it out and you can have a countdown until the day you meet the one.
  • The TiMER is placed on your wrist.
  • It is 100% accurate.
  • When you “zero out”  sometime within the next 24 hours when you make eye contact with the person you both beep.
  • Yours is blank? – That means your one doesn’t have a TiMER or you won’t ever have anyone. Sucks to be you.
  • You have to be at least 14 for it to work.
  • Once it beeps – you know who it is, but it doesn’t mean it will be instant attraction or anything. There are different kinds of the one. You might hate each other – or be friends first or not be that attracted to them yet or  it could be instant but the TiMER only tells you when you will meet them.

Now, before I go any further – for the record I KNOW this made-up stuff but none-the-less it made me think about things??
What if your TiMER says you won’t meet the one until you are in your 40’s or 50’s? So what do you with so many in between years while you wait?  Would you really want to know that you will be that old and KNOW that you have to watch pretty much everyone else around be in love? Do you still even date others? This was something one of the characters faced. I mean – if you knew 100% it will happen just not for a long time would you be relieved or frustrated or both?

What if you got a blank one?? Another character in the movie gets a blank one and so even though she has the TiMER she still doesn’t know because her one doesn’t have a TiMER. So, in that situation is it better or worse? Then  do you ONLY date guys who don’t have TiMERS and try to convince them they need one so you know? You already know that anybody you meet with a timer isn’t the one. What if yours never came on?

What if in either of those situations, (a blank one or one that won’t happen for years) you fell in love with someone who isn’t your one? Do you stay with who you love knowing they could leave you for their one later, or they refuse to get a TiMER and yours is blank do you just go with it and “hope” they are the one?

What if you are already married and you or your spouse decides to get a TiMER and you realize they are NOT the one?  Whether you were happy or not, do you stay married or leave?

In the movie anytime two people’s TiMER’s went off it was kind of awkward. Because, then they would just stand there and be like. “Okay, now what?”  When their TIMER would stop at the 24 hour mark the next day was very tense. (Even I could feel it watching the movie.) Who would it be?… and they would spend the day looking or wondering. What would it feel like to know that in the next 24 hours I am going to meet my soul mate?

What if you seriously thought you knew and you were wrong? What if you can and do have more than just one soul mate??

Oh.. this movie brought up sooo many questions and like I said, even though it was make-believe it’s NOT that far off from real life. Every day, people are looking of the one. Some will wait years before they decide that this person they met was the one, some people refuse to make a commitment without a guarantee (in real life – I guess a feeling. Still not sure what this means?) Some people think whatever – I don’t want to wait so they just risk loving and losing.

So the real questions are  fate or love and would you really want to know?


On Waiting…

Yesterday, I had a dentist appointment.

I went in – told them my name and the time I was supposed to seen and then I sat down in the waiting room.

I usually would have played on my phone – checked facebook – played some Words with Friends – checked my email — something. I didn’t have my phone, I had left it at home. Two days in a row. (on accident… but that’s a different story.)

So.. I sat and waited. Bored. Somewhat fidgety. ‘What am I supposed to do while I wait – especially without my phone?!’

This guy and his son were sitting in front of me. His son was about 6 years old. The son had a kids magazine and was sitting pretty still and the Dad was playing on his phone.

All of the sudden the little boy put his magazine down and climbed up on the Dad and said ” Daddy – how much longer. It’s been foooreverrrr.”

The Dad replied “It’s not quite time yet,” As he glanced at his watch, “We are in a waiting room. Do you know why it’s called a waiting room?”

The little boy stopped for a second and said “why?”

“Because we have to wait.”

With this thought, the little boy turned back around and picked up his magazine again… only 2 minutes later to stammer: “Daddy it’s just taking so long!”

Then it was my turn.

That little moment in time made me think about some things:

I was like that little boy in the waiting room. (although, I don’t want to go to the dentist that bad, necessarily.)

“God, why are you taking so long?” 

and then God would say to me : “Wait. Right now, it’s time to wait.”

Just like the little boy couldn’t just go back to the dentist when he wanted…and the waiting room is boring and it seems to drag on 10x longer than normal time.  Things were working behind the scenes. On the other side of the door – the dentist and the assistants were working on other people and doing things to prepare his time with them.

Then, also like the little boy – I would be ok with that answer and I would wait, but no more than a few minutes and here I am again. “ Where are you God? What’s going on? Is it time yet??”

Sometimes, It also seems that people will get the things you have been wanting first. They will get the job, the husband, the money, the security, the babies, the dream home, could be whatever it is you are waiting on.

Even though, the little boy and his Dad were there first, it was my turn to go back before them. I can imagine the little boy – turning to Daddy again and saying “When will it be our turn to go?”

After it was all said and done and I was leaving I saw the little boy and his Dad talking to the dentist. They made it. They were always going to – it was already booked and they were just finishing up the things in the back before they could bring him in for his turn.

I know this was a bad analogy – but I still felt the same as that little boy. All the time… wondering — what’s next?

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;  ~ Psalm 37:7


Something On My Heart…

What are you afraid of?

 – Spiders

– Heights

-Being too close to someone

– Being alone

– Clowns

– Tight places

The list could go on and on… I am afraid of a lot of things. Seriously, it’s pretty crazy. Sometimes it’s legit things, most of the time just ideas in my head that more than likely will never happen. The thoughts come and flood over me and before I know it fear has consumed me.

I have been thinking a lot about fear lately…

Before I go further, let’s define the word fear:



a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Antonyms: courage, security, calm, intrepidity. (via)
At the church I teach at, we have been studying boldness. Right now, we are talking about Ester. If you are not familar with the story I will recap real quick:
Basically, Ester is favored by the King who makes her Queen. She is a Jew and a guy named Haman comes along and decides he doesn’t like the Jews, because they are different… anyways…the point is that Ester has to be the one to save them because she can talk to the King on thier behalf. She knows she has to do it – but she is afraid: you can read the story of Ester here.

Yesterday this quote from the bible when I was reading about Ester, really stuck out to me…..

Mordecai sent her this message: “Don’t think that just because you live in the king’s house you’re the one Jew who will get out of this alive.14 If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance will arrive for the Jews from someplace else; but you and your family will be wiped out. Who knows? Maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this.”

Wow. All I could think about was —  ‘She was made to fight, and be brave… She was made to be Queen to save the people…  what if she didn’t go talk to him? What if she got so scared she did nothing? Her and her  people would have been killed. The part  where he tells her the deliverance will arrive somewhere else to me means – God will chose someone else to help and she would have missed out on a huge God blessing.’

Eventually, she goes, and she talks to him, you can read it — it’s in the Bible. (It’s one of my favorite stories — with a really cool twist to it.)

My question is – what do we miss out on when we live in fear?

What blessings have been put before me (and for others as well.) – but because of my fear, I do nothing and hide – and then someone else comes and fights the fight I was meant to  but didn’t?

What did God want to do with me  and the homeless man that needed money that I was afraid to talk to- The friend who was crying out for help, that I was too afraid to comfort (because it was scary.) . -The really great guy that I was too afraid to get to know beacuse I was afraid of rejection??

I don’t want to live like this anymore… I want to be bold like Ester. Why would I teach my 4 year olds this lesson and not even look at myself?

So, I am going to go out of my comfort zone and when this feeling comes over me to do something – but fear gets in the way.

 It’s going to be hard and it’s going to be scary but I am going to do it because I have this truth:

“For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” – 2 Timothy 1:7

.King James 2000 Bible (©2003)

I think this last quote/picture, pretty much sums it up… If you can face your fear head on – knowing that God has your back – you will grow and it will be good. : ]

z154302498-1.jpg image by Miss_Mandy04