Back when I was in college I was student teaching in my parenting class and I had to come up with a lesson that would include English skills.
So – I thought a letter to their future child would be great!
The rules of my assignment were that it had to be in letter format and they could write to whomever they wished: a future son, future daughter, if they didn’t think they would want children they could write to a niece, a nephew… pretty much they just had to pick a child, any child real or made-up and give them advice and talk to them. I wanted to see them incorporate things from the semester and I wanted it to be grammatically correct etc.
They loved the assignment! Something I thought they would moan and complain about and essentially blow off they took their time and they put a ton of thought and their whole hearts into it. They were only supposed to write at least three paragraphs, they blew that out of the water and most of them wrote pages. They were asking me they could have the letters back after I graded them because they really wanted to someday hand those over to this child they were writing to. My teacher loved it and said I did good, by helping a low-socioeconomic teen realize they actually have a future and get them to daydream about good things to come instead of focusing on the present.
Anyways, one of the BEST assignments I ever did, and if I ever get my own classroom this is something I will continue to do. I even made copies of their letters and kept them in my teaching box I have. (they were just so sweet…)
Then today I was reading this post which linked me to this post and I thought, Why haven’t I already done this?!
So… here are some tidbits of what I would like to share with my future daughter:
I don’t know when we will meet, but it will happen. There are things I already think about… all the fun things we can do and the things I would want to share you.
If I never tell you anything else it would be these things:
Do not let other people intimidate you: they are people, just like you. “They put their pant’s on one leg at a time…” just like one of my old manager’s once told me.
It’s hard, but you need not conform to society or the other girls…be yourself. It’s a lot less stressful. I wish I would have known this a long time ago. Be you. Like what you like & you don’t need to justify that to you anyone. If it makes YOU happy… so be it!!
You don’t have to have control of everything… sometimes life will just not cooperate with you… and if it has to – it will remind you this. (This is where I am at now at 26 year’s old. My plans looked slightly different… but it’s ok.)
Money is important but it’s more important to pick something that brings you passion…trust me on this one!
Honesty will get you a lot further then anything else. Remember this.
As far as the love advice… I don’t know…yet! Someday, I am sure I will be able to look back on where I am now and say something like -” it’s there, you just have to wait and be patient” and “you will know when you know” and all the clichés that have been told to me. As of yet, I am still figuring this out. This I do know though…and that is don’t settle. Don’t settle because they are easy to be with, and don’t settle because they are OK. Too many of my friends have made this mistake and later regret it. From what I hear, I think you know in your gut when it’s not right. I believe this to be true! This is something a good friend told me and I think she might be on to something…. ” Just because he is GOOD doesn’t mean he is GOOD FOR YOU.” There is one other thing and I do know this from experience – Don’t let a guy you are dating control you. If this happens you need to get out and fast! You will slowly lose yourself and in the end you won’t even recognize the person you have become due to the manipulation/control/self-esteem bashes. Your friends will notice this first (more than likely you will be oblivious or in denial) please child, listen to them. They see things you don’t or refuse to look at.
One last thing…if you make mistakes which you will. You will rebel, you will fight common sense sometimes, you will mess up and things might get ugly for little periods in your life don’t let it discourage you. I hope and pray that you can see those times are for the greater good… They are bad and they are hurtful but they can be used. One day you may be able to pass those little moments off on your own daughter to learn from. She may or may not listen but it’s there and she has the access to know beforehand how it could turn out and teaching her is one of your greatest responsibilities.